I was looking through old posts I had made on an INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD and I came across the following description of Halo, which made me laugh really hard.
Halo-Guns, Aliens
Halo 2- Guns, Aliens, Sword,
Halo 3- Guns, Aliens, Sword, Sai,
Halo 4- Guns, ALiens, Sword, Sai, Pepperoni Pizza,
Halo 5 - Guns, Aliens, Sword, Sai, Pepperoni Pizza, Splinter, Cowabunga, Mousers, and Krang
I’m hilarious.
I recently discovered a meme called alternative images. There were some fairly fascinating ones, from Pokemon to Mario. There were by far more Alice related images than anything else. I’m posting em’ here for your viewing pleasure. I like the ones that aren’t overtly sexual, then again those ones usually just focus more on a drug theme.
I don’t understand why everything has to be so badass all the time. When Windwaker came out for gamecube everyone cried foul that it looked too childish and Link needed to be a Hylian Samuel L. Jackson. Some people forget that the whole basis of Zelda is a little kid going on an adventure. Wind Waker was aesthetically AMAZING, probably one of the best looking games I’ve ever played.
Same thing with Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alice is a little kid that has a bizarre dream. I’m assuming Lewis Carroll never did LSD or Mushrooms, and while there was an assertion that he had a Lolita-complex, I didn’t think there was much about Alice that was sexual. Not that the idea of a sexy Alice is wrong by any means. If my girlfriend put on that blue dress and invited me to a private tea party I’d grow faster than if I drank Rabbit’s potion. My point here is that taking any cartoon character and giving them double d’s and making their outfit skimpier is lazy and boring.
With that… CHANGE PLACES!
The time has come the walrus said, to talk of other things.
I loved Ren and Stimpy as a kid, and I still do to this day. Despite my love of cartoons, and my love of certain people who make them, I know very little about the actual process. John K gives some fascinating insight and what appears to be good advice when it comes to the world of animation.
First up we have an old McDonald’s commercial that I remember watching as a kid. In this clip Ronald imparts wisdom to Birdie and Grimace (and by extension, impresionable young children) that you should never reach for the stars, because your dreams will eventually wither up and die in your hands.
If you didn’t know, I was a Lego Maniac in my younger, ramblin days. I had catalogues that I stare at constantly, coveting the plastic choking hazards. I wanted the airport featured in this commercial so freakin’ bad. I never got it. Probably because it cost upwards of $100.
This next commercial gave me a long obsession with the 7up Spot, you know, the Kotex symbol with sunglasses. What’s great about him is that he is really easy to animate in Hyperstudio when you’re in 7th grade. Yeah, I’m a badass.
I think all disputes should be settled on the ancient, sacred battlegrounds of Crossfire. I never actually met anyone who had this game, but it looks like there are lots of tiny, metal pieces you could swallow.
Whoever came up with this next game is brilliant, and their reward will no doubt be an eternity in hell for corrupting countless female youths. As a young man, even I was entranced with this game. I used to daydream about giving it to a girlfriend so I could justify playing it. Alas, for that plan to work I would have needed money. And a girlfriend.
This one is notable simply for how excited Chef Smurf gets about “Papa Smurf’s Special Sauce.”
I think that’s a good place to stop for now. Seriously, if you wanna youtube it there’s something like 40 volumes of commercials from the 80’s. A fun way to kill an afternoon instead of writing an effing paper.
As long as I’m making a wishlist here, I might as well go all out.Take a look at this:
It’s a digital poloroid printer that uses no ink. The color crystals are in the paper and the camera uses heat to produce an image. That’s awesome!
